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My Story, Chapter 1: The Conflict

I love a good story.  There’s something about watching someone experience, struggle through and grow from a challenge that does something unique for my heart.  I don’t know exactly when I realized it, but I’ve known for quite some time now that I’ve been living out a story, with the days of my life providing a narrative pointing to the glory and purpose of God.  I’ve believed this for awhile, but it was about a year ago when I was reminded that the story being told is always greater than the sum of the characters in the cast.

About this time last year, I experienced a key element of any compelling story: the conflict, or as I blogged about and alluded to before, an “inciting event.”  The conflict is a struggle between two people or things in a story.  Conflict is a vital literary device that takes a story from run-of-the-mill to rousing.  The main character is usually on one side of the main conflict.  On the other side, the main character may struggle against another important character, against the forces of nature, against society, or even against something inside himself or herself (feelings, emotions, illness).  Conflict is the opposition of forces which ties one incident to another and makes the plot move.

There are 2 types of conflict: external and internal.  External conflict is a struggle with a force outside one’s self while internal conflict is a struggle within one’s self.  In my case, I experienced an external conflict that served as a catalyst for internal conflict.

Honestly, I’m still trying to find the balance of exactly how much of this story I want to share and when, especially since I’m still very much walking it out.  In the interest of keeping focused on the main theme I want to communicate, I will just say that I experienced an external professional conflict.  Besides, the “what” is not nearly as important as the “why” that it brought to the surface.

I found myself in a situation that appeared to be a threat to what I deemed to be “success” in my career.  All other various elements and specifics aside, I went into a bit of a tailspin.  Actually, that’s an understatement.  My heart freaked out.

One night I found myself walking around in my back yard for about two hours, on the phone with one of my best friends, Tyson, talking through the particulars of the situation. Actually, I wasn’t talking as much as I was venting, searching for answers, grasping for any semblance of purpose in the midst of what otherwise appeared to be utter chaos and disorder descending on my life.

As I rambled on in my confused and fearful state, I will never forget what happened next.  Being the great friend that he is, Tyson heard me out and then asked me the following question: “what are you afraid of losing?”

It sounds simple enough, but that was the crack in the dam for me and the question that would ultimately change how I would see everything.

To be continued…

Have you identified a major “conflict” moment in your life that you can point to as the moment everything changed for you?


 

Gungor CD Winners

Gungor - Beautiful Things

Thanks to everybody who checked out my blog about Gungor last week and commented, tweeted, retweeted, etc!

Congratulations to the following 5 people who are the winners of a shiny new copy of Gungor’s brand new “Beautiful Things” CD, courtesy of Brash Music and Nside Management.

Kristina Levy

Kyle Reed

Rocco Capra

Shaina Paris

Michael Natrin

Happy, Happy! Joy, Joy!

Thanks for playing along and for the love, everybody! This was a lot of fun and Ive got some more stuff like this coming up soon. Stay tuned! :)

If you don’t have “Beautiful Things” and you weren’t a winner this time, I highly recommend you grab the album. It’s stunning!

 

The Response Of My Heart

I was first introduced to the music of Sigur Rós when I lived in Dallas in 2007 by my friend Brad.  I will never forget the first time I heard their music.  As I sat there and listened to their album “Takk…”, my heart was completely overwhelmed by the pure beauty of what I was hearing, and I was moved with such emotion, literally to tears.  I can count on one or two fingers the times in my life I can remember ever having that kind of response to music.

Sigur Rós hails from Iceland and they don’t even sing in English.  In fact, they don’t sing in any particular language at all, but rather in “Vonlenska”, a term used to describe the unintelligible lyrics sung by the band and commonly known by the English translation of its name, “hopelandic.”  Nice!

According to the Sigur Rós wikipedia,

Vonlenska is a non-literal language, without fixed syntax, and differs from constructed languages that can be used for communication. It focuses entirely on the sounds of language; lacking grammar, meaning, and even distinct words. Instead, it consists of emotive syllables and phonemes; in effect, Vonlenska uses the melodic and rhythmic elements of singing without the conceptual content of language. In this way, it is similar to the use of scat singing in vocal jazz. The band’s website describes it as “a form of gibberish vocals that fits to the music”.

Sounds like “making music in your heart” to me!

Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. (Ephesians 5:19-20)

I am learning that the essence of worship is the response of my heart to who I believe God to be.  I believe we can tend to over-think so much about what “worship” is and what it isn’t that we fail to just let our hearts respond to who God is.  I don’t need scripted lyrics to experience true heart worship.  Sometimes, my worship is deeper than any words I could find, so none seem adequate for what I feel in my heart.  I can honestly say that I have had quite a few very profound personal moments of worship set to some Sigur Rós music.

So yeah, I have zero clue what they are saying, but there is something very majestic and regal about their music that captivates me and opens my heart in a way that not much else does.

Here is one of their songs, “Glósóli” set to clips of the BBC’s amazing Planet Earth documentary series.  Even though I have no clue what they are saying, this makes my heart worship. How great is our God!

Have you had any “non-traditional” worship experiences that have challenged and deepened what you had previously believed was or was not considered “worship”?


 

Less Like Scars

Perspective is a funny thing.  I remember when I was a child, being so fascinated with those optical illusion puzzles where the static picture seemed to move and take on different shapes right before my eyes.  Or I could look at the picture for hours and see nothing a bunch of multi-colored circles, while someone else would look at it and see a lion, ready to pounce from the canvas onto the unsuspecting onlookers.

It is always intriguing to me when two or more people can discuss or see something and have very different thoughts and views on it.   It’s because of perspective.  The way I am likely to see or perceive a certain thing is largely due to my relationship to or view of that thing.  Perspective is powerful.

In his book The Knowledge Of The Holy, A.W. Tozer says:

“… the most portentous fact about any man is not what he at any given time may say or do, but what he in his deep heart conceives God to be like…  were we able to extract from any man a complete answer to the question, ‘what comes to your mind when you think about God?’ we might predict with certainty the spiritual future of that man.”

Essentially, he is saying that it’s not about the “what” that you do, but about “why” you do it.  It’s not about what you see but why you see it that way.  Perspective projects performance. In other words, how I see something is pretty indicative of how I will respond in my thoughts and behavior.

In his amazing book, “In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day,” author Mark Batterson tags Tozer’s thoughts with the following:

How you think about God will determine who you become.  You aren’t just a byproduct of “nature” and “nurture”.  You are a byproduct of your God-picture.  And that internal picture of God determines how you see everything else.
Most of our problems are not circumstantial.  Most of our problems are perceptual.  Our biggest problems can be traced back to an inadequate understanding of who God is.  Our problems seem really big because our God seems really small. In fact, we reduce God to the size of our biggest problem.

That is powerful stuff right there.  In fact, what both Tozer and Batterson are saying is that the perspective we hold is the true barometer of our heart, which will, in turn, be the thermometer for our life.  A healthy “God-picture” or perspective will produce life, love, justice, grace and mercy because those things are the heartbeat of the Father.   At the same time, a warped “God-picture” will essentially preclude any of those same things from taking root and flourishing, not because of what we say or do, but because of what we, in our heart, believe.

Tozer goes on to say, a “low view of God… is the cause of a hundred lesser evils.” But a person with a high view of God “is relieved of ten thousand temporal problems.”

One of my favorite songs by Sara Groves is “Less Like Scars”, which is all about the power of perspective.  Here are some of the lyrics.

less like tearing, more like building / less like captive, more like willing
less like breakdown, more like surrender / less like haunting, more like remember
less like a prison, more like my room / it’s less like a casket, more like a womb
less like dying, more like transcending / less like fear, less like an ending
and I feel You here, and You’re picking up the pieces, forever faithful
it seemed out of my hands, a bad situation, but You are able
and in Your hands the pain and hurt look less like scars
and more like character

Wow.  It takes quite a “high view of God” to be able to look at what you thought hurt you, and realize that it really came to develop character.  To me it looks like a scar, but in God’s eyes, his character is being revealed in my life.  But that is precisely what a “high view of God” produces… healthy perspective.

Sometimes it takes being on the other side of something to be able to really embrace that kind of perspective.  But after you’ve been through enough of those experiences and had your perspective challenged and changed, you should find yourself grasping a high view of God in the middle of the situation. 2 Corinthians 4:16-19 is a great perspective verse.  It truly takes a “high view of God” for Paul to be able to confidently say, in the present tense:

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

I will say that my “God-picture” has changed dramatically, even over the course of the last year and several months specifically.  It’s part of this amazing journey I’m on.  My God-picture was warped for most of my life.  But I can testify first hand that the adjustment of my view of God has indeed changed how I see absolutely everything, and it is rocking my world.

Author Andy Andrews wrote a great book called “The Noticer”, which is all about the power of perspective in your life. In the book, one of the central characters, Jones, weaves in and out of folks’ lives, always challenging them on their perspective and encouraging them to embrace a higher view.  It is an amazing book that really impacted me and I highly recommend it.

There are so many applications for this topic, and I’ll jump back on this a little later, but it’s really been stirring in me lately so I wanted to go ahead and jump into it now.

What perspective governs your life and how have you seen your “God-picture” change over the years?


 

Beautiful Things

Gungor - Beautiful Things

About a month ago I had the opportunity to see worship artist Michael Gungor’s band, Gungor, perform their new album, “Beautiful Things”, live in its entirety at the re:create 2010 Conference.  I had been listening to a pre-release copy of this album for a good couple months and as much as I loved it, the CD did not prepare me for what I experienced in the live setting at the conference.

I don’t wait to be overly dramatic, but what I experienced that day was quite simply the most beautiful, riveting and stunning God-inhabited live music and worship experience I have ever had. It was a collision of God and art unlike anything I have ever experienced. Ever. Anywhere. Ever.

Here’s a short video that will give you a tiny taste of what went down that day.

If you’re in the market for a new music purchase, I cannot recommend “Beautiful Things” enough.  It has stayed in heavy rotation in my iTunes and iPod since I first heard it, but even more so since the live experience.  The album is profound, elegant, simply complex and just plain genius.

The truth is, “Beautiful Things” is worth every single penny you would spend on it, and then some. However…

I’m excited to announce that AnIdolHeart.com is partnering with Brash Music and Nside Management to give away 5 copies of Gungor’s brand new “Beautiful Things” CD!

There are 2 ways to enter (and you can do both!)

1. comment on this blog with your answer to to following question: What is your favorite worship song and why?
2. follow me on Twitter AND tweet about this giveaway with the following: @anidolheart is giving away 5 copies of Gungor’s “Beautiful Things” CD! http://bit.ly/atCgwh (pls RT!)

Sounds pretty easy to me. :)

From all the comments and tweets received, I will randomly select 5 winners on Friday morning, March 12, and those folks will each receive a copy of the “Beautiful Things” CD.  Don’t want to roll the dice and wait until Friday?  You can buy “Beautiful Things” here now.

Ready? Set. Go!

 
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