Tag Archive - fear

Pastor Barbie & Pulpit Culture

April 13, 2010 in Faith, Leadership, My Story with 55 Comments

Pastor Barbie

I was asked by Wes to share my story with our community group Sunday night.  It’s been awhile since I’ve done any sort of public speaking and although I think I stumbled through it a little, I feel it went pretty well.

After leaving, I sent a tweet saying “Blogging about my story is one thing, sharing it in front of 40 people in my community group is another. Grateful for this journey”. I got a reply from Makeda saying “you sharing your story so courageously is giving others permission to be courageous too so keep telling it.”

Have you ever been around someone who is always full of fear, and before you knew it you find yourself just feeling fearful out of the blue?  What about someone who is just bursting at the seams with faith?  I don’t care how discouraged you may be, you can’t be around that kind of person long without your faith being built.  And what about courage?  If you spend much time in the company of a courageous person it makes you feel brave and courageous.

Fear begets fear.
Faith begets faith.
Courage begets courage.

I’d like to introduce you to Pastor Barbie, however I have a feeling she needs no introduction.  In fact, if you’re like me you have been well acquainted with Pastor Barbie for a very, very long time. I’m really not interested in discussing the theology of the Biblical justification or legitimacy of Barbie’s pastorate or whether or not she should wear make-up, cover her head when she prays or speak in tongues when non-believers are present in the service.  :)   Just flow with the metaphor here…

Pastor Barbie doesn’t cuss, gossip and covets neither her neighbor’s livestock nor flat-screen HD television.  Pastor Barbie doesn’t speed, listen to secular music and never leaves home without her Bible.  Pastor Barbie doesn’t struggle with porn, has never had an abortion and her husband, Co-Pastor Ken, is the first and only man she kissed, but not until they said “I do,” of course.  Pastor Barbie doesn’t drink, chew or run with those who do. Pastor Barbie has never doubted, always trusted and rarely wondered.

In fact, she’s kind of… perfect. You know Pastor Barbie.

Pastor Barbie has never done ANYTHING wrong, let alone thought about it.  She walks right, spits white and is a pristine model of salvation and shining beacon of the light of Jesus to every one of the perfect plastic people in her church.  Except… *GASP*… the perfect plastic people in her church aren’t really perfect or plastic.  In fact, they are very real, have very real struggles, fight very real battles each and every day and have doubts and questions.  And there, ladies and gentlemen, is where we have a conflict.

You see, when Pastor Barbie’s congregation looks at her, they believe they see what faith should look like.  But they are conflicted, so they struggle, wrestle and feel defeated, confident that something must be wrong with them because, after all, “if Pastor Barbie isn’t struggling, why am I?”  There is a disconnect between what they see and what they feel, so they ignore what they feel and the great masquerade deepens in their quest to one day be as “spiritual” as Pastor Barbie.

I grew up in a “Pastor Barbie” setting where no one ever confessed or admitted to struggling with ANYTHING, especially anyone in any kind of leadership role.  Never. Ever.  This created an environment where we would jump through all kinds of religious hoops and be really good at “church”, but really suck at life.

“Pastor Barbie” churches present a pretense-soaked, dysfunctional and unrealistic PULPIT CULTURE that, in turn, creates and nurtures an equally, if not more so, pretense-soaked, dysfunctional and unrealistic PEW CULTURE.

I’ve been thinking about the whole pulpit culture/pew culture concept lately, and observing the huge difference between what I have spent much of my life accustomed to compared with what I am experiencing at Cross Point Church, where I now attend.

Prior to coming to Cross Point, I had never been part of a church where such a radical and courageous transparency was the norm and so much a part of that church’s DNA.  Earlier this year, when speaking about Freedom From Sexual Sin, Pete Wilson stood in the pulpit and said “there is no other sin in my life that has made me feel more more shameful, more beat up and more destroyed than sexual sin. Nothing.”… and I about fell out of my seat.  Are you kidding me?!?!  I can count on one finger the times when I have heard a pastor be so real and vulnerable, and this was it.  It really struck me and I couldn’t help but wonder, “why is this the exception?!?!”

In dramatic contrast to “Pastor Barbie” churches, Cross Point has created an honest, real-life and transformational PULPIT CULTURE which, in turn, creates and nurtures an equally, if not more so, honest, real-life and transformational PEW CULTURE.

The people you lead are a mirror and the PEW CULTURE at your church or organization is quite often a direct reflection of the PULPIT CULTURE shaped by the leadership.

There is something wildly contagious about the humbly transparent yet courageous spirit of a Pete Wilson… or a Justin Davis to so openly share the testimony about his affair and God’s redemption and restoration of his family… or a Blake Bergstrom being so boldly, unpredictably, uniquely and unashamedly “Blake”… that empowers people to embrace that same courage, step forward and say “here’s my story.” I’m not sure that Sheila, the former crackhead prostitute, would feel welcome at Pastor Barbie’s church.

Whether intentionally or unintentionally, they have created a PULPIT CULTURE that does not claim to be perfect, but is as close a reflection of what I believe to be the heart of the Father than anything I’ve ever encountered.

There is something about giving people permission to be broken that brings healing.

That. Rocks. Me.

…and it scares the hell out of the enemy of our souls!

I am so grateful to God for leading me to Cross Point and for the genuine community I have discovered there.  I am encouraged by each limp that I see and seeing the scars is showing me hope.  It is the fellowship of the redeemed, restored and redefined… and it is healing my heart.  Cross Point truly is a place where “everybody’s welcome, nobody’s perfect and anything is possible”… and for the first time in my life, I truly believe that.

If you are a leader, what kind of PULPIT CULTURE are you creating and how do you see that reflected in the PEW CULTURE at your church?

If you’re not a leader, what kind of PEW CULTURE do you feel has been created as a result of the PULPIT CULTURE at your church?

 

Fear

March 25, 2010 in Faith with 6 Comments

fear

When it comes to thinking about your life and the future… career, relationships, life decisions, etc… I have come to realize there are two types of fear that are often encountered.  They are both rooted in “what if”, but they are very different.

The first is “what if it doesn’t…”, which can tend to have a paralyzing effect, keeping you tethered to the familiar.  The thoughts of it all falling apart keep a lot of people nestled in a comfort zone where, although not ideal, is consistent, predictable and safe.

The second and, in my experience, more powerful is “what if it does…”  This type can have an equally paralyzing effect, also hindering many people from cutting the proverbial umbilical cord, stepping into the unfamiliar and embracing the uncertain.  But here is where the road divides and the two are different.  Rather than thoughts of it all falling apart, this type of fear brings with it thoughts of “what if it works and changes everything.”

I believe it is the second type of fear that tends to be a catalyst to faith… when you no longer view your options as options at all, because quite often, options can be the enemy of faith.  When you realize that everything in your life could completely change and even though you have no idea what that might look like you are ready to embrace what’s next… that’s when things begin to happen.

Some people have lived a certain way, with a particular mindset or pattern for so long and have become quite accustomed to their situation.  They believe they have options and while they might do something different “someday”, for now they are just fine.  They believe that it is what it is, and fear of the waves keeps them on the shore.

Then there are the kind of people who choose to shed the notion of options and embrace the challenge that comes with facing the second type of fear, where the fear of staying on the shore pushes them out onto the waves.

I believe this was the kind of man Jesus encountered in Luke 18.  How long this man had been blind was immaterial.  When he heard Jesus was passing by, he knew his only other option was to continue to sit and beg… blind.  I believe he had gotten to the point where, if he was honest, that really wasn’t an option at all.  Surely he had built a lifestyle around his situation, one that catered to his particular dysfunction, but he was tired of that.  Staying the same was no longer optional, so he took a risk.  He called out to Jesus.

Jesus had the blind man brought to Him, and when he came near Jesus asked him, “what do you want me to do for you?”  What kind of question was THAT!?  Obviously the man was blind.  He wasn’t likely to ask for food or clothing.  He wasn’t begging for money, he was begging for mercy.  But if you look closer at the scenario, Jesus wasn’t uninformed.  He was challenging this man’s limitations.  He was essentially saying, “before I do this, I want to make sure, is this what you want?”  Jesus knew that if He performed this miracle, it would change everything for the blind man.  So before he went any further, he was basically saying, “are you sure? Because once I do, you won’t be able to stay here anymore.  This miracle will destroy your comfort zone.”

The blind man replied, “I want to see.”  He knew what it meant.  He knew that he would have to build a whole new life that was no longer co-dependent on his disability.  But he wanted it.  Jesus never even touched him, but he was changed forever.

The Bible says God has “planted eternity in the hearts of men.” There is something powerful about encountering a pivotal moment that connects with the seed of eternity planted in each of us.  It is grace, a window of opportunity when we are empowered to step outside the bounds of everything that has convinced us things will never change.  It challenges our limitations and tells us to do something we never thought we could do before.  Something like… telling a blind man to see.

What are you afraid of?  Does the fear of the waves keep you on the shore?  Or does the fear of the shore push you out onto the waves?

 

Guest Blog by Adam Smith a/k/a Jackalopekid

March 18, 2010 in Faith, Guest Posts with 12 Comments

NOTE: Today I am introducing the first of what will be a recurring series of guest posts from folks in the blogosphere whose voices I respect and want to introduce you to.  The first guest blogger here at AnIdolHeart.com is Adam Smith a/k/a @Jackalopekid.  I love the way Adam communicates and hope you dig it as well.  Enjoy!

(This is the new official logo for AnIdolHeart) :)

Hello, folks! My name is Adam Smith and I’m the author of jackalopekid.com. I just moved from Atlanta, GA to Denver, CO about four months ago. The weather is colder here, the scenery is better and people laugh when I say words like “folks” or “y’all”.  It’s quite spectacular.

Well, you’re probably asking, “What is a jackalopekid?” Well, it’s a nickname I got growing up, and it just stuck. It’s crazy I know, and for that I apologize. You probably haven’t visited my blog yet for that one reason. Again, I apologize.

So now that we have that out of the way, I am truly honored and excited to write here on AnIdolHeart. Actually, this is the subject I want to write on. “An Idol Heart”.  The title alone speaks volumes to me. I actually just started reading this blog and immediately added it to the RSS feed after reading this, as should you. You see, when you read that post, I hope you feel the realness and substance that I did. I love that junk. You want to know why? It’s because everybody has a story. No matter what you’re going through or what you have been through in the past, someone else out there can relate.

Maybe you can relate to my story. I grew up in a Christian home and knew about God, but I didn’t KNOW God. Maybe you understand that… Well, I found Him as a teenager and never looked back after that moment. The one thing that held me back to giving my entire life to Jesus, that gave me an idol and complacent heart, was religion and pride. Those are two really dangerous things. I really didn’t realize they were there to tell you the truth.

If I had to say one thing that holds me back today, that would probably be fear. It’s a fear of what people think, a fear of the unknown and a fear of being the husband that God wants me to be. You can probably relate to my story now, huh? But again, this is real life stuff I deal with and maybe you do, too.

So I have a question for you today, new friends—  What is something that is holding you back?

 
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